My Criteria for a Mate

As my girlfriend Lauren on Facebook was asking friends to make an individualized list "Fifteen Criteria for My Ideal Mate," I decided to be appropriately silly and came up with (well more than 15)...

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For starters:

 

Sexuality

1) Must be heterosexual, interested in pursuing an uncompromisingly monogamous relationship, and specifically, must not be open to the idea of polygamy now, or in the future.

 

Creed

 

2) Must be a practicing Muslim or other monotheist.  I try not to hold others to a standard to which I myself don’t adhere. Hence I think it fair to expect he should not be engaging in any of the “major sins,” and at least attempting to practice the five pillars). Ideally such an arrangement would bring me closer to my faith.

 

3) Cannot be an Uncle Tom or sycophant for the existing order (ie, he must, in keeping with the Hadith, at least “hate it [injustice] in his heart”).

 

4) Must have a love and concern for the oppressed communities around him, regardless of their problems.

 

5) Must believe in amr bil mauroof and nahi unal munkari and/or  Ma’at.

 

6) Since silence is complicity, must be actively involved in some aspect of the struggle for social justice, ie, must be concerned and active in something beyond himself.

 

7) Must be willing to go to jail for what he believes in.

 

Career

 

8) Should be a science (preferably bioscience) person.

 

9) Must be willing to allow me to pursue a bioscience career; and preferably encourage and help me to progress in that career. In other words, he will be the leading strand to my lagging strand =).

 

Personality

 

10) Must bring honesty and integrity into the relationship, and in every aspect of his life.

 

11) Must be willing to conduct relationship through shura (major Islamic concept of “mutual consultation”)

 

12) Must practice discipline and value it in others.

 

13) Must have a sense of humor.

 

14) Must speak/listen to me with respect.

 

15) [In keeping with what Garvey and Elijah Muhammad taught about the company one ought to keep], must be smarter than me (with all this entails).

 

Morphology, etc. (desirable but not absolutely necessary)

 

16) Baritone or other masculine voice (voices and accents are very important to me);

 

17) Very dark-skinned (at least at dark as Denzel :));

 

18) Very tall (at least 5’10”);

 

19)  Faster (as a runner) than me (with all this entails);

 

20) Able to communicate effectively in writing;

 

21) Appreciation/knowledge of other languages and cultures.